The Extremely Mannerist Shorts

Today, for the first time in the near-month that we have lived in this apartment, we had a washing machine incident. Now, the washing machine in the Casa Rolex routinely floods the kitchen, but Ro and I have learned how to handle that situation. No, this situation involved a red dress from the market and water that was too warm for it. Unsurprisingly, this situation also involved bleeding red dye. As a result of this bleeding dye, I found myself the owner of: THE EXTREMELY MANNERIST SHORTS!

These short, which I find myself wearing rather often here in toasty Roma Homa, have been a faded slate blue color for the duration of my ownership of them. Now, however, they are prime example of some serious canjanti. Here is a visual:
(I can't for the life of me figure out why the picture is stuck in this rotation... apologies.)
Now, if you can't see the subtle pink shadings on my blue shorts, I submit for your appraisal exhibits B and C:





















Again, apologies for the strange rotation, I can't figure out how to change it...

Anyway, as you can see, the lovely blue is complemented by a soft pink, creating an ethereal, hyper-realistic, almost supernatural quality for the shorts. These shorts were clearly influenced by Michaelangelo. I even feel inclined to stand around in complex contrapposto whenever I wear them...