Side Effects of Being a Tour Guide (Even one who doesn't give tours)

All this week, I have been unable to entice anyone to come on a tour of the Forum, Vatican, or Pantheon. Still, I now have a full week's experience of approaching random strangers and asking them to spend some time and money with me. I am getting very good at handling rejection, which is something I could have probably predicted, but I have discovered another, completely unpredictable, side effect of my job. I find myself completely unable to pass by lost American tourists. Today, for instance, I found some Americans standing behind the Pantheon, all wearing matching scarves. One of them said, "So, where is the Pantheon?" and another said "Well, we just went into THAT building (indicating the Pantheon), and I don't think that was it." At this point, I felt obligated, as a pseudo-guide and a fellow countrywoman, to walk over and inform them that it was, in fact, the Pantheon. It was at this point that I learned they were on some sort of scavenger hunt, so I also translated the inscription on the facade for them. Then I got to tell them how to get to "Piazza Novogona," which I just assumed meant Piazza Navona. This wonderful experience was followed soon after by a similar encounter on the 64 bus, where I found some very clueless tourists looking for "the Fountain of Trivoli." Once I had clarified that they were looking for the Trevi Fountain, I sent them merrily on their way.

Given this penchant for helpful guiding, and a knowledge of the city (which I have gained by walking everywhere), I am somewhat surprised that no one trusts me enough to come on my tours. Perhaps I will make myself a sign that reads: I am American, and I know where you need to go. My other plan is inspired by my gladiator friends. Hanging out all day at major tourist attractions, I end up in a large number of people's photographs or videos as a bystander. I think I will start charging them for the use of my image, say, 5 euro for a picture of my face, and 3 euro for one with me from behind. This, of course, is all fantasy, but I am being very creative until I get to next week...